Ever been in love with the wrong person?
Forgiveness isn’t always a form of strength, but rather of weakness. You see, when forgiveness is not genuine, there is a sense of humanity displayed; humans fear change. Recently, I made a explicit decision that I knew would cause pain to someone I cared about. That decision compelled me to confess and ask forgiveness from this person. Their response: “Well everyone else may think you are a terrible person, but give me a week or two and we can start over, because Im a nice person and I really really like you.” Umm, thanks? So you are forgiving me despite the very deep wound causing you to bleed out? I can see it in his eyes, the fear hidden behind the pretend strength; the sense of control that he is trying to grasp at through fingertips. Somehow without my permission, our conversation ended with him trying to comfort me!!! I eventually had to slam his car door screaming, “I hurt you! Stop hiding what you truly want to say! I deserve whatever your anger drives you to do!” He so quickly offered his forgiveness without giving himself the proper time to heal, to forget. The reason? Humans fear change. He wanted to maintain hope that his life would not change with the new absence of myself in it. He needs a reminder, like so many of us, that despite our great fight to maintain stability, life will change. People will change. The weather will change. Unfortunately, all things will change, and we cannot control this. The one thing we can control: our own self, emotionally, spiritually, physically. So rather than grasping to hold on to stability, embrace change to fuel your own inner strength and love yourself enough to stand up the disrespect inflicted upon you. That night in his car, I so badly wanted to hear what every human should respond with when they hear that their love had been unfaithful, “I cannot give you genuine forgiveness for this. Not tonight, and I don’t know when, maybe never.”